brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
