There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.