Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
