Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
