I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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