ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm always down for nudity.
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