It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
