At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
