I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
