its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
