This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Randomize
