I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
