ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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