shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
