Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
