she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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