Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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