Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
ttyl tear gas
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Randomize
