brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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