I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
