I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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