i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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