My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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