let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
