Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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