We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
