but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
