Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?