Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(517): View more from Michigan

I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.

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(206): View more from Washington

I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia

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(410): View more from Maryland

i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(304): View more from West Virginia

Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.

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(509): View more from Washington

Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.

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