Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together http://tfl.nu/hjtb
  Replies (16) Good night (711) Bad night (3584)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture?? http://tfl.nu/iimu
  Replies (11) Good night (5633) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am? http://tfl.nu/1xol
  Replies (41) Good night (913) Bad night (4081)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that. http://tfl.nu/ssua
  Replies (14) Good night (4105) Bad night (834)
• Favorite

  (212): View more from New York

  It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (212): It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls. http://tfl.nu/fa0p
  Replies (24) Good night (5599) Bad night (1017)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers. http://tfl.nu/lte3
  Replies (7) Good night (3170) Bad night (1093)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone http://tfl.nu/cpqs
  Replies (5) Good night (1625) Bad night (850)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate. http://tfl.nu/gqhs
  Replies (10) Good night (1955) Bad night (914)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day http://tfl.nu/8r1c
  Replies (7) Good night (2504) Bad night (1315)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him http://tfl.nu/gn0k
  Replies (13) Good night (1023) Bad night (2231)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them. http://tfl.nu/la60
  Replies (5) Good night (1205) Bad night (472)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (208): Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen. http://tfl.nu/0ir7
  Replies (3) Good night (604) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN http://tfl.nu/jodt
  Replies (8) Good night (755) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion" http://tfl.nu/821u
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (518): So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?" http://tfl.nu/8ua3
  Replies (2) Good night (285) Bad night (487)

Randomize