Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  needless to say I left

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard. (203): needless to say I left http://tfl.nu/ueme
  Replies (15) Good night (820) Bad night (3000)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.

  (1-936): View more from Texas

  Can I eat your pillow?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (936): Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow. (1-936): Can I eat your pillow? http://tfl.nu/ozwu
  Replies (7) Good night (5415) Bad night (692)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (903): I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition" http://tfl.nu/bud7
  Replies (8) Good night (1222) Bad night (3126)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'? http://tfl.nu/2o2u
  Replies (26) Good night (948) Bad night (3762)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  nutella sex= disaster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): nutella sex= disaster http://tfl.nu/zj5e
  Replies (26) Good night (1041) Bad night (5415)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (650): This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case" http://tfl.nu/fgo6
  Replies (12) Good night (6633) Bad night (932)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ah tequila...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur # (816): ah tequila... http://tfl.nu/7k34
  Replies (22) Good night (6286) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard. http://tfl.nu/avz2
  Replies (6) Good night (1026) Bad night (2657)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means. http://tfl.nu/u00p
  Replies (7) Good night (3859) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers. http://tfl.nu/zf1p
  Replies (12) Good night (2037) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club. http://tfl.nu/5u2s
  Replies (13) Good night (1496) Bad night (1110)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick! http://tfl.nu/u1do
  Replies (15) Good night (1047) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts. http://tfl.nu/fqt4
  Replies (2) Good night (728) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME http://tfl.nu/54hn
  Replies (5) Good night (585) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK. http://tfl.nu/ffuw
  Replies (2) Good night (1005) Bad night (296)

Randomize