I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
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Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
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The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.