i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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