Texts From Last Night

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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home

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  (910): my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home http://tfl.nu/9si8
  Replies (17) Good night (929) Bad night (3798)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.

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  (435): it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush. http://tfl.nu/c95w
  Replies (36) Good night (1359) Bad night (5330)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"

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  (513): hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it" http://tfl.nu/04ug
  Replies (4) Good night (5514) Bad night (930)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.

  (1-419): View more from Ohio

  it's a Wednesday?

  (419): View more from Ohio

  :)

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  (419): I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone. (1-419): it's a Wednesday? (419): :) http://tfl.nu/grqr
  Replies (4) Good night (3148) Bad night (950)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dear god, who put you in a cab?

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  (267): duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19. (856): dear god, who put you in a cab? http://tfl.nu/6o92
  Replies (21) Good night (4513) Bad night (953)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I can't. I will literally throw up my liver

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.

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  (610): I can't. I will literally throw up my liver (484): Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume. http://tfl.nu/eh54
  Replies (2) Good night (1680) Bad night (694)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Did it finish?

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  (203): You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified. (508): Did it finish? http://tfl.nu/ahm8
  Replies (4) Good night (2963) Bad night (830)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode

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  (612): her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode http://tfl.nu/ptvh
  Replies (5) Good night (1372) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  Did someone catch you and fuck you?

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  (828): I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes. (1-828): Did someone catch you and fuck you? http://tfl.nu/onw1
  Replies (1) Good night (1073) Bad night (467)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock

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  (318): My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock http://tfl.nu/d5ea
  Replies (10) Good night (1692) Bad night (369)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!

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  (646): Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth! http://tfl.nu/4hup
  Replies (5) Good night (1945) Bad night (323)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.

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  (281): Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky. http://tfl.nu/g7xl
  Replies (1) Good night (713) Bad night (287)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?

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  (724): How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people? http://tfl.nu/n7j8
  Replies (2) Good night (261) Bad night (587)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"

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  (425): I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing" http://tfl.nu/ogw7
  Replies (4) Good night (463) Bad night (227)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?

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  (517): Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet? http://tfl.nu/vxlg
  Replies (2) Good night (159) Bad night (502)

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