I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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