I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
