Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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