I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
