Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
