I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Randomize
