We're facebook friends in real life
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
