Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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