Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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