woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
