She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
