I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
We have so much sex to catch up on
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
