dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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