I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
