Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
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Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
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I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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