You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Actions speak louder than pants.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
