with your own penis?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
