She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Terrible idea I love it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
