I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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