I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
