I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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