I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize