"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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