Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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