Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
