I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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