all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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