(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
