i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
