Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Damn victory sex feels great
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
