that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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