They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
