So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
