I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
