You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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