I hate all girls vehemently.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
