stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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