I accidentally had phone sex last night
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
